Funny / Humorous Church Sign Sayings

Sometimes it’s easy for us Christians to take ourselves just a wee bit too seriously. We like to think that Jesus had at least a bit of a sense of humor and believe that laughter can usually help us through the toughest of times. It can also deepen our connection to God.

Take some time browsing through our list of Humorous / Funny Church Sign Sayings. Some of the messages submitted had us rolling on the floor. You can help cheer up your fellows and the whole community with one very simple, very humorous church sign saying.

Church Sign Sayings Character Count Word Count
We’re user-friendly! Come on in. 39 6
God Recycles, He Made You From Dust 35 7
To stop reaping bad fruits, stay out of Satan’s orchard. 62 11
Immediate seating available. 28 3
Open wide and say “awe.” 36 5
Walk-ins welcome. 17 2
Enlighten up! 13 2
There’s no high like the Most High. 41 8
Worship now. Beat the Easter rush. 35 6
Everybody welcome. Well . . . come! 36 4
Live music every Sunday. 24 4
Sleep soundly in our pews. 26 5
Come early for a back pew. 26 6
Need soul repair ? Walk right in. 33 6
Treasures in heaven are safer than those in your 401K. 54 10
God answers knee-mail. 22 3
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. 51 11
Salvation Is The Best Free App To Get 37 8
I wish Noah had swatted those two mosquitos 43 8
When the rapture come who’s gonna change the sign — Will YOU? 73 12
Fall For Jesus, He Never Leaves 31 6
Devil riding your back? Take off the saddle! 44 8
Jesus… The quicker picker upper 37 5
Occupy Mainstreet, why not occupy a pew? 40 7
God makes me the person my dog already thinks I am. 51 11
Hot out there? Our church is prayer conditioned! 48 8
Wanted: Singers. Inchoir within. 32 4
Darwin was an eternal optimist! 31 5
Are you a Clairol Christian… only your hairdresser knows for sure? 72 11
Is your Bible a website? 24 5
Have you hugged your pastor today? 34 6
Church isn’t a fire house. Worship often. 47 8
Looking for High Definition? We have it! 40 7
Hands in Prayer: Already Digital 32 5
Trust God: He counts on you! 28 6
Bring your spirtual Marshmellows, our pastor is on fire! 56 9
Just Pew It 11 3
We use Duct Tape to fix everything… God used nails 56 10
Dairy Queen isn’t the only place with awesome Sundays :) 62 10
Math Lesson – 3 Nails plus 1 Cross = 4 given 50 6
Weather Forecast – GOD reigns – Son shines 54 6
Body piercing saved my life 27 5
Come to church – don’t wait for the hearse to bring you. 68 12
Choosy Moms choose Jesus 24 4
we are souler powered by the son 32 7
Make God your director – He knows how the story ends 58 10
Sunday Mornings…Live Music & BYOB (bring your own bible) 66 10
When Satan knocks, say, “Jesus, would you get that?” 64 9
we are souler powered by the son 32 7
May you be awe struck by God’s sense of humor as you wrestle with the possibility that a professional wrestler had a chance to become President of the United States. 171 31
Be thankful for more than an elastic waistband. 47 8
ipad, ipod? try ipray. 22 4
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. ~ Erma Bombeck 73 13
It’s not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it’s the seconds. 81 17
We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink. ~ Epicurus 106 19
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~ Erma Bombeck 161 23
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before. ~ Rita Rudner 98 17
The thing I’m most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. 66 12
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. ~ Phyllis Diller 99 16
God welcomes the biggest of turkeys! 36 6
Living without God is a lot like dribbling a football. 54 10
Use “Sonscreen” to prevent “Sinburn” 60 5
Jesus said it. I believe it. That settles it. 45 9
If you can read this sign you are close enough to come in. 58 13
Sin burn is prevented by Son screen. 36 7
 iPod? iPad? Try iPray…God is listening! 47 7
“Soul” food served here! 32 4
God Answers Knee-Mail 21 3
God expects spiritual fruit, not religious nuts 47 7
T.G.I.F.- Thank God I’m Free. 35 10
You have to wonder about humans. They think God is dead and Elvis is alive! 75 15
The best vitamin for a Christian is B1. 39 8
The Bible has the longest publishing run of any Book. 53 10
Sign broken – come inside for messages 44 6
The Devil may be stoking the fire, But God has his hand on the thermostat. 74 15
The government will never have an Eternal Life Policy. 54 9
The man who tries to walk two roads at the same time will split his pants 73 16
The mighty oak was a little nut that stood it’s ground. 61 12
The pastors on vacation, come join us on Sunday. 48 9
The Ten Commandments Are Not Multiple Choice. 45 7
Thank God for dirty dishes – at least we have food to eat. 64 12
Tax-free benefits inside. 25 3
Rapture can happen any moment Come in and get a jump start! 60 12
Real Tongues of Fire does not mean gossip. Acts 2:1-4 53 10
Repent now! Avoid the rush on judgment day! 43 8
Screaming Oh God!” “Oh God!” in bed on Sunday morning doesn’t count as going to church” 117 17
See Me now or pay Me later. 27 7
Son block has never worked for me. 34 7
Souler energy used here 23 4
Stop, Drop and Roll does not work in hell. 42 9
T.G.I.F. – Thank God I’m Forgiven 45 9
There is a father has a son and Jesus is his namo…J E S U S J E S U S J E S U S and JESUS is his namo. 108 32
This is a sign! 15 4
Those who are praying for snow, please stop 43 8
We Are Not Dairy Queen…But We Have Great Sundays 54 10
We have a great prophet-sharing plan. Details inside 52 8
We manage life savings. 23 4
What if God doesn’t believe in atheists? 42 8
What’s missing in CH_ _CH? 32 6
When God saw you – It was love at first sight 47 10
Without the Bread of Life, you are toast! 41 8
You don’t have to be brain-dead to live for Jesus, but when you are, you’ll be glad you did 95 21
YOU HAVE ONE NEW FRIEND REQUEST! JESUS ACCEPT/DENY 50 9
The church is a gift from God. Some assembly required 54 10
Want to be friends with Jesus and the angels and saints? Try Faith” book!” 86 14
Wal*Mart isn’t the only saving place. 43 8
Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk! 41 8
Try our sunday’s there better than Dairy Queen’s! 61 10
Try our tax-free rewards program. 33 5
Under The Same Management For 2000 Years 40 6
Under The Same Management For Over 2000 Years 45 7
Understanding God would be easier if we had infinite IQ 55 10
Wal-Mart Is Not the Only Saving Place. Come On In. 50 10
Wal-Mart might save you money but, Church saves your soul. 58 10
God is like Allstate, you’re in good hands. 45 9
God wants full custody not just a weekend visit. 48 9
God Sent The Very First Text Message: The Bible! 50 9
God Sent the first text message…The Bible 47 8
God is like Coca-Cola, he’s the real thing. 45 9
Google can’t satisfy every search 39 6
Google doesn’t have all the answers. 42 7
Got Jesus? 10 2
Got jesus? I do. 17 4
Grace Factory Outlet 20 3
Guess who created pleasure. He might just know a thing or two… 68 12
Heaven Deal or No Deal! 23 5
Heaven. Free map inside. 24 4
Hell! I thought I’d gotten away with it! 42 9
Hell! I thought it didn’t matter what you believed as long as you were sincere! 81 16
God is CEO of the Universe 26 6
Forbidden fruit creates many jams. 34 5
Forgive your enemies, it will mess with their mind. 51 9
FREE bread and juice inside!!! 30 5
Free life insurance! Details inside. Benefits are out of this world. 69 11
Free redemptions inside. 24 3
Free Trip To Heaven…Details Inside 40 6
Friends don’t let friends die without Jesus 49 8
Get off Facebook and get into my Book. 38 8
Get off facebook and take out faith book 40 8
Get rich quick. Count your blessings! 38 6
Getting dunked in OUR pool has great significance 49 8
God Answers Knee-Mail 21 3
God Chats 24-7 14 3
God doesn’t have a Plan ‘B’ 45 7
God expects spiritual fruit, not religious nuts 47 7
God grades on the cross, not on the curve 41 9
God, make me the person my dog thinks I am. 43 10
Jesus: Gateway to the supernatural 34 5
Our Church is Prayer Conditioned 32 5
Jesus: the most exciting person in the universe 47 8
Life: the ball’s in your court After death: it’s God’s turn 65 14
Lost? Use GPS – God’s Plan of Salvation 51 8
May all your days have Son Shine 32 7
May all your troubles be as short as your New Year’s resolutions 70 13
Moses was once a basket case. 29 6
Need a new life? God accepts trade-ins 38 7
Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart. 48 8
Now open between Easter and Christmas! 38 6
Our Church is Like Fudge – Sweet with a Few Nuts 54 10
Party in Hell cancelled due to fire 35 7
Patience is a virtue heavy in wait 34 7
Pessimists need a kick in the can’ts. 43 8
Jesus was the first Undercover Boss 35 6
Jesus satisfies 15 2
Jesus is my B.F.F. who’s yours. 37 9
Hell!…I’d forgotten about that! 39 6
Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him. 67 14
I pray only on days that end in ‘y’! 48 9
If God Is Your Co-Pilot, you better switch seats! 49 9
If man came from apes… Why are there still apes? 54 10
If the devil is knocking at your front door, let Jesus answer it 64 13
If you don’t like this heat, practice Heaven-conditioning. 64 9
If you don’t know Jesus you are the biggest loser 55 11
If you haven’t heard from GOD” lately, Try sending some knee mail!” 86 13
Jesus did the only extreme world makeover, the flood 52 9
Jesus Christ! The answer is on everyone’s lips 48 9
Is Your Life Running On Empty? Free Fillups Here Every Sunday! 62 11
Jesus died for Myspace in heaven 32 6
Invest here. 100% return guaranteed. 36 4
If you want to be  Hater”… Hate Evil” 56 8
If you think it’s hot now, just wait. 43 9
Be friends with Jesus, use Faith book, the Bible 48 9
Be ye fishers of men….You catch them, He’ll clean them! 67 12
C.O.P.S – Constantly Obediently Preaching SalvationWhat’cha gonna do when He comes for you? 103 16
Cant sleep? Come hear a sermon. 31 6
Church parking only. Violaters will be baptized 48 7
Are you lost? Pick up your GPS . Gods Problem Solver! 53 10
Apply Here. Advancement Guaranteed. 35 4
Always remember that Hell is un-cool. 37 6
Act your praise, not your shoe size. 36 7
A cold church is like cold butter, it doesn’t spread well. 64 12
7 days without prayer makes 1 weak 34 5
2 things you can count on: Death and Taxes. Are you ready for both? 69 13
Church. Cheaper than NFL tickets. 33 5
Come in and try our Supper. It is free and can free you. 56 13
Coming soon: Manufacturers recall. Are you ready??? 51 7
Everyone has a knee-mail account, but not everyone uses it. 59 10
For heavens sake! what on earth are you doing? 46 9
Firefighters can rescue you, but only Jesus saves. 50 8
Fight Truth Decay…Study The Bible Daily 45 7
Extreme Savings offered Here, No Coupons required! 50 7
Extra,Extra, Read all about it! There’s one God and there’s no doubt about it! 90 17
Exposure to the Son prevents burning 36 6
Don’t have a prayer? Free refills inside. 47 8
Don’t let worry kill you. Let the Church help 52 10
Down in the mouth? It’s time for a faith lift 47 11
Easter is more than something to dye for 40 8
Energy crisis? Seek GOD and get a puppy. 40 8
ETERNITY: smoking, or non-smoking? 34 4
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. 52 11
It is much easier to become a father than to be one. 52 12
God will welcome even the biggest turkey. 41 7
Jesus loves you SNOW MUCH! 26 5
50 Shades of Grace 18 3
Don’t be like a blister and only show up when the work’s all done. 78 16
A closed mouth gathers no foot 30 6
Visitors Welcome. Members Expected. 36 4
A goose never voted for an early Christmas 42 8
Spend less time on Facebook, and more time with His Book 56 11
If you are lost come inside we have the map to get you home! 61 14
Fight truth decay. Brush up in the Faithbook! 45 8
Brush up on your bible: It prevents Truth decay. 48 9
Read your Bible It’s user friendly plus we offer Tech Support on Sunday Morning 85 15
Hungry? Soul food served here! 30 5
So you think it’s hot now 31 7
Come huddle with us before the big game 39 8
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